Q & A with a Sleep Specialist
As we prepared to launch the Sparrow Bed, we asked our community about their biggest sleep challenges and received over 500 responses. One thing became immediately clear: sleep is not a simple hurdle. When it’s going well, everything feels easier. When it’s not, it can affect nearly every part of life.
When parents are exhausted, even small challenges can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, it can feel like you do so much and the results still aren't there. You can create routines, environments, and habits, but you can’t force a child to sleep. That lack of control, especially when you’re desperate for rest, can bring up frustration, guilt, and helplessness all at once. And because sleep is so closely tied to parenting approaches, conversations around it can feel personal, or like you are being evaluated as a parent.
That rawness is what stood out while reading through all of these questions you had for our expert about sleep. We wanted to create space for thoughtful, developmentally grounded insight that you can consider, adapt, and determine if it works for your family.
We sat down with Kelly Routkevitch, a Pediatric Sleep & Development Specialist and Kinesiologist, to answer your tricky sleep questions. Her insight brings clarity, reassurance, and practical insight grounded in both development and real family life. Prefer to listen to the podcast?
Your Q&A for sleep, with Pediatric Sleep Consultant Kelly:
Q: Why do tongue and lip ties affect baby sleep?
Kelly: If the frenulum under the tongue or upper lip is too tight, it can cause problems with feeding and latching, which can lead to discomfort and more night wakings. The tongue also helps expand the palate. If it can’t rest on the roof of the mouth, it can lead to mouth breathing, which affects sleep quality and can cause more frequent night wakings.
Q: Why do children want more connection at night? And how do we handle the curtain calls for water, hugs, and potty breaks?
A: This is very common at this age. My thought process is to build those requests into the routine: offer water, snack, potty before bed, because you know they’ll ask anyway.
It really depends on the family. Some enjoy lying with their child, others need space. One thing we use is audio stories as a bridge if a parent needs to step away.
The main thing is connection. Kids want connection, and even if you spend all day with them, it matters how you’re connecting.
Overnight is a long separation, and children don’t understand time. So creating a connection before bed is key. Also, making sure they are actually tired so bedtime doesn’t drag on.
Q: Why is feeling safe so important for sleep?
A: Sleep comes from a sense of safety. Just like adults struggle to sleep when stressed, children need to feel calm and secure before they can rest. Their nervous systems are even more sensitive, so connection and a predictable routine help them settle.
Q: Is there a developmental age where it becomes too late to teach independent sleep? Is it ever too early?
A: No. Independent sleep can be supported at any age.
There may be protests, especially under 12 months. The first three years are a period of rapid brain development, and children still need closeness.
Independence comes from depending on a safe caregiver. It grows from feeling safe and supported, so gradual transitions tend to be more effective than abrupt changes.
Q: When should babies or toddlers sleep through the night?
A: There is no universal timeline, and it really depends on the child. Some babies sleep long stretches early, others don’t sleep through the night until age two or beyond.
Sleep patterns depend on temperament, development, and possible underlying factors like airway issues, allergies, iron levels, or nutrition. Many children begin consolidating sleep around age two, but variation is completely normal.
Q: When should I transition my baby from a crib or co-sleeping?
A: It depends on development and safety. Once babies are rolling or mobile, that’s a good time to transition.
The recommendation is to keep baby in your room for at least six months, ideally a year.
Floor beds can be used earlier if the environment is safe.
Q: Are Montessori floor beds safe for babies and toddlers?
A: Yes, if the room is fully baby-proofed.
Everything should be anchored, no cords, outlets covered, it should function like one big crib.
A bed should be designed or positioned so that a baby can roll onto the floor rather than get stuck against a wall.
I recommend you use a monitor and keep the door closed for safety.
Here is our checklist on how to prepare a bedroom safely for a floor bed!
Q: Why does my toddler wake up at 5 am?
A: Early wake-ups are often related to schedule. Often, they wake because the child has had enough sleep. If they go to bed early, they may wake early.
Looking at total sleep, bedtime timing, and environmental factors like light or noise can help address early waking.
We assume kids should go to bed at 7 p.m., but that’s not always realistic.
It’s about total sleep and internal sleep pressure.
Q: Why does my child wake in the middle of the night and stay awake?
A: This can happen when a child has already had a long stretch of sleep or is going through a developmental phase.
Sometimes adjusting naps or bedtime can help. These 'split nights' are often temporary and tied to growth or schedule imbalance.
Q: How do I tell the difference between a child needing me vs. normal waking?
A: I would respond either way.
Children don’t wake up to create problems; they wake because they need something, whether it’s comfort, food, or reassurance. Responding helps them feel safe and does not create bad habits.
Q: What’s the number one mistake parents make with sleep?
A: Trying to force sleep when the child isn’t tired. Sleep cues like yawning can sometimes be misleading. If a child isn’t ready for sleep, bedtime can become a long and frustrating process.
Q: Does physical activity help children sleep better?
A: Yes. Movement and sensory input are important for supporting better sleep.
Movement and sensory input, like outdoor play, climbing, pushing, or rough-and-tumble play, help regulate the body. It’s most effective to look at the whole day, not just right before bed.
Q: What is one of the best things to add to a bedtime routine?
A: Beyond physical activity, connection, and deep pressure.
Eye contact, time together, massage, or gentle squeezes help regulate the nervous system and signal safety.
Sleep can feel all-consuming, especially when you’re in the middle of it. But one of the biggest takeaways from this conversation is that many challenges are rooted in development, connection, and environment. You aren't failing, and there are tools and approaches out there that can support you and your unique child!
Have more sleep questions? Drop them below!
If you’re looking for more personalized support, Kelly offers 1:1 sleep consulting and additional resources at bizzyasamother.com or @bizzyasamother.